Mama Muse • Fallon Arnold

For me it was getting to know this little girl who I had spent 9 months growing and connecting with, and all of a sudden she was earthside and it was amazing getting to know her. I spent hours gazing at her, in awe that I was part of a creation so beautiful. It took a while for it to sink in that I was a mum, with a daughter! Even to this day it still seems surreal. I also loved introducing Zahlia to family and friends, seeing their happiness when they cuddled her and spent time with her. I felt such a sense of pride that I had given my parents their first grandchild, a little love for them to adore for years to come. I also loved all the cuddles, spending hours on the couch with her sleeping on me, curled up like a little koala. Listening to her breathe, taking in her newborn scent. It was so unbelievably intoxicating. I would give anything for those hours of cuddles again. 

 

A few things challenged me as a first-time mum. I found it difficult to accept that my identity had shifted, in my mind I was still the same old Fallon. 2 weeks after Zahlia was born, we left her with my parents whilst my then-partner and I had dinner and saw a movie. The next week I went to the choir I’m a part of for their weekly rehearsal and everyone was shocked that I was there. I didn’t go back to many rehearsals after that. I wanted to show the world that I could ‘do it all’ - be a mum and carry on my life as if nothing had changed. But I soon realised that my focus had to be on Zahlia and learning how to be a mum, and making that the priority. I had to let go of some of the control I had been holding onto, which was a real challenge for me. I’ve now found a healthy balance between making time for myself and ensuring that I’m the best mum when I’m spending time with Zahlia.

 

I am very fortunate to have an amazing support network around me and there isn’t anything I would change. My parents, sister, friends, and Zahlia’s dad's family were all there to help us when it was required. I always felt like so could ask for help if I needed it. 

I also required some additional support from a lactation consultant as breastfeeding didn’t come naturally or easily. I had difficulties with Zahlia latching and as a result, I expressed milk into bottles from a very age. I’ll be forever grateful that Zahlia took to a bottle as it meant that others could help feed her and share that experience with her too. I was so grateful to be able to breastfeed Zahlia for 15 months before we transitioned her to cow's milk, which she is still obsessed with! I also have the best mothers group who I am still friends with for 2 years and they were and continue to be a valuable source of support and advice. It definitely helped that two of them are midwives! 

 

1. Anything that helps keep your milk supply up - for me it was milo and oats 

2. Reusable breast pads 

3. Ice/heat packs that I used to help with post-labour swelling, pain as well as blockages and engorgement of my breasts

 

I’m a big believer in positive affirmations, which I now also practice with Zahlia. I want her to know that she is strong, beautiful, smart, and loved and I need to believe these things about myself too. I have struggled with my postpartum body and the changes that have happened, but I remind myself of the beautiful journey I have been through, and how blessed I am to have experienced pregnancy, labour, and breastfeeding. My body has exceeded all of my expectations and I’m so proud of that.

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