Mama Muse • Monique Pater
I am a mum of a 4 month old boy. I work in marketing and I’ve recently gone back to work (WFH which has been so much more challenging then I had anticipated). I love to be active - lots of Pilates, walking, horse riding!
Watching a newborn change every day is so rewarding. He would learn new things constantly! And just the purity of his personality shining through.
What did you find challenging about being a new mother?
We have had a very challenging breastfeeding journey which led to trouble with my son’s weight from week 4. At 3 months old he had a frenectomy in the hopes of helping which it did for the most part. It was at this point that I realised being a parent meant making really hard calls for the benefit of your child in the long run. But also the physical recovery - the first few days are a wild ride of wondering if you’ll ever stop bleeding, questioning if your stitches are healing okay and waiting for your milk to come in.
I was fortunate enough to have family provide meals and help with things like cleaning. I put strong boundaries in place that visitors were limited and those who were invited in I would love help from and most people respected that. I really wouldn’t change how I embraced this period!
If you are breastfeeding you will spend so much time nursing, so things to help with that like:
A big drink bottle because you’ll be drinking SO much water (I liked my Stanley cup), healthy snacks because you won’t always have time to organise a full meal, and silverettes will save your nipples. Particularly on cluster feeding nights my husband would set me up a table beside the couch with all the essentials which was so nice.
I practiced 30 days of confinement however I adapted it to what felt right for me. For example by week 4 I was DESPERATE to leave the house so my husband and I went out for coffee a few times. I went out on a few walks after week 2 to get sunlight and move my body. Before giving birth I’d asked my husband to remind me to do the wellness practices that are important - things like drinking bone broth, doing my skincare routine, showering every day, sunlight after the first few weeks. Very simple things that helped me to feel good about myself.
I was fortunate enough to have a magical natural birth however I was definitely not prepared for those first few weeks of recovery! I also didn’t give my self a lot of space to recognise how intense postpartum is and it’s really taken me until now to comprehend the gravity of becoming a mother - how all consuming that transformation is. For any mothers in the thick of it, you will feel like yourself again and the fog will clear.