Mama Muse • Joelleen Winduss Paye
"Being informed about your birth and breastfeeding: Understanding these aspects is vital. Your birth can significantly impact your postpartum journey—not just your physical body but also your feelings about becoming a mother. Investing time and resources into birth, breastfeeding, and postpartum planning is my best advice."
Joelleen is a mama to Mali, who is 10 months old. She works part-time as a holistic lactation consultant, naturopath, and midwife, supporting parents in preparing for their breastfeeding journeys and troubleshooting any challenges with feeding their babies. The rest of the time, she focuses on the important work of parenting her little boy. In her leisure time, Joelleen loves to be in nature, visit the beach, listen to inspirational podcasts, and share meals with loved ones.
My journey to motherhood began with an easeful conception of their first pregnancy, a daughter, which sadly ended after four months. After this devastating and life-changing loss, my husband and I took time to heal. Mali’s pregnancy was a wonderful journey, though it was sometimes difficult to maintain a positive mindset given their previous experience. We had a magical home birth at the end of 2023 which I have being a midwife for well over a decade, had envisioned many times. I have felt beyond grateful to welcome our son this way and he has brought immense joy and fun to our little family.
What was your favourite thing about the newborn phase?
A combination of breastfeeding going well and taking walks with the baby carrier around our neighbourhood to show him off; I felt so proud of him and to finally be a mother.
What did you find challenging about being a new mother?
Even with my professional experience, there was so much I didn’t know about my own son. It takes time to understand when your unique baby is hungry, tired, etc. The newborn phase felt particularly mentally challenging because of all the time spent stationary while my baby breastfed and slept. In hindsight, this was much-needed rest, but during those moments when I felt energetic, it felt conflicting to stay so still.
I spent a lot of time planning for postpartum, knowing it was so crucial, and educating clients about this for many years. With our parents overseas and not much family nearby, I relied on a doula friend who set up a meal train for us, along with a team of trusted health professionals. I saw a lactation consultant twice, visited my lovely GP, and connected with several colleagues. I also had numerous direct messages with other new and experienced moms from my Instagram community.
I think I would prepare even more of my own food. As much as a meal train is wonderful, sometimes you just want to eat food that you have made - particularly that is really tailored for postpartum needs. We also needed to transfer to the hospital for a day and a half, and I felt quite unprepared in terms of foods and snacks, so this is something I would absolutely plan for it we are fortunate enough to have a next time.
Top 3 essentials would be:
- Being informed about your birth and breastfeeding: Understanding these aspects is vital. Your birth can significantly impact your postpartum journey—not just your physical body but also your feelings about becoming a mother. Investing time and resources into birth, breastfeeding, and postpartum planning is my best advice.
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Meal prepping: Developing a meal-prepping routine has been a game changer. I gained so much more confidence in meal planning when I became a mother because I had to! There’s so much less time to cook à la carte and run to the grocery store multiple times per week. Loading up at the farmers' market and preparing 1-2 weeks' worth of dinners plus leftovers has transformed our routine. Having meals ready for lunch and dinner saves time and reduces cleanup.
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Investing in postpartum healing: Initially, I treated myself to a few massages, which were a lovely way to nurture my body and honour its journey. I also found great confidence with a skilled women’s health physiotherapist, who has helped me regain strength at the gym and heal my pelvic floor.
Are there any rituals or practices during your 4th trimester you'd like to share?
I continued using my belly oil from pregnancy on my tummy in the shower, which felt wonderful for my skin and provided a regular moment to ground myself. This ritual reminds me that I still need to take care of myself, for me and our family.
Birthing our son in summer allowed us to enjoy beautiful so much weather. I took daily walks to our local park and breastfed under a shady tree, memories I will always cherish.
I wish I could say I’ve been more consistent with self-care and beauty rituals, but that’s not always the case. However, when I do make the effort to use my Gua Sha and blow-dry my hair, it always makes me feel so much better.
See Instagram post here.