CONFINEMENT CHRONICLES • Melissa Gold

Melbourne, Australia
Mother to Joey and Max

I did confinement for both my pregnancies with Joey (6) and Max (4). I remember with my first child, it was really driven by my mum. As we are Malaysian, historically she practised confinement when she gave birth to me, and her mum did it when she gave birth to her. I didn't really know what to expect, but I knew that it was just something that was going to happen. I was really led by her, who was in turn led by my grandma.

My grandma and mum pretty much did all the cooking . We also used a service called "Taste For Life", where it's prepackaged soups and teas, to make the whole process easier and more convenient. All they had to do was add in the protein then the meals were done. I mean for me, that was a huge pro because after giving birth, you don't have to think about what are you going to eat. It was just one less thing to worry about, knowing that I was going to have meals set for me every day for the next 30 days.

Not washing my hair - I actually did that for 30 days, and I'm very surprised at myself. This was during a period of my life where I was trying to avoid shampoo, which I still do to this day but every now and again, I get my hair washed at the salon. It was tough because obviously it gets pretty gross. My mum said that water has wind in it, therefore you shouldn't touch cold water. You basically want to expel all the toxins from your body and want your body to be warm. And I guess that's why a lot of confinement foods are very “heaty”. “Heaty” food is food that will make your body warm, to get the metabolism going and the blood flowing and regenerate the body. Hence all those confinement foods that I had were very “heaty”. Before we decided to go for Taste For Life, I did a taste testing of the meals. I was pleasantly surprised because I thought one of the myths was that confinement food was going to be pretty unappetising, but it was actually tastier than I thought. It included a variety of herbal teas, and it was nothing too far from my palate. At home we do consume bone broths, so it wasn't so foreign to me.

During my confinement, I just did as much as I could. It wasn't as strict as of some other’s confinements. But I did stay indoors for the whole period and I did avoid taking showers. When I had to wash myself, I prepared a bath with the herbs in it. Even straight after I gave birth, I just used wet wipes. So I feel like that was pretty hardcore for me but obviously it was a good healing experience for me, and it was a good time where I could just focus on healing myself. There is an emphasis on the mother's health post birth, which I really enjoy. That's why I decided that the second time around with Max, I was going to do confinement again.

I was pleasantly surprised with all the soups and the teas, and I was looking forward to drinking these in my confinement. And there were lots of other options as well. There might have been one or two that I didn't really love but for the most part, I actually enjoyed the food.

I did vlog my confinement with Max five years ago. Those early days went by like a blur so I’m glad I was able to capture those experiences to share with others so they can have an idea of what to expect. Another thing that I really did look forward to was the benefits of doing the Urut Post-Natal Massage. Urut is a tummy binding massage, and I really enjoyed that. To me, it was quite therapeutic and helped with my core recovery, which was very weak at the time.

With my first pregnancy, it was quite a traumatic experience because Joey got stuck and he came out blue. It also took a long time for me to heal so I think that without the confinement period, it would have been a lot more prolonged. I was really thankful for all the support that I had because I was not in the best place physically and mentally. And obviously emotionally it was a really hard time.

A positive from my confinement period was being able to have time for myself. In terms of negatives, sometimes when you talk to other people about confinement, some people are really put off because they feel like they have to follow everything, and they might not want to do it because they would fail at it. I think that even if you take up some elements of it, it's better than nothing. So even if it’s a two week confinement instead of a whole month, I think that it’s still beneficial. I think there’s a huge pressure and feeling of obligation to get back up very quickly postpartum. Having this confinement period, allows space for healing and rest.

Although my husband and parents continued to be very supportive and involved, it was challenging coming out of confinement. I almost didn’t want it to end! It gave me back some energy though so it felt easier going outside with my newborn. It was positive enough that I did it twice!

See Instagram post here.