CONFINEMENT CHRONICLES • Mariel Tan

Discover our new limited series, the Confinement Series where we share the experience of mothers who practiced varied forms of Chinese Confinement. Whether it is within a postpartum care centre or in the comfort of their own home with the support of family, this series will spotlight how these new mothers draw on the concept of 'Sitting the Month'. Through the experiences of these women, we highlight the importance of our postpartum care pillars while practicing confinement:

Ritual and Celebrate
Rest and Retreat
Nourish and Restore
Support
Empower and Enlighten

How were you supported by your loved ones (partner, immediate family, extended family, friends)?

My husband was my biggest support. He cooked every meal, made sure I rested, and handled most things around the house. He took care of the baby when I needed breaks and managed all the errands so I could just focus on recovery. I kept visits limited to family only which really helped emotionally. Also, my mum was a huge help as she took time off work and did the night shifts.

What did you find most valuable about the confinement experience?

Honestly, being forced to slow down. It gave me space to properly heal and adjust to motherhood without feeling rushed. It was also nice to just bond quietly with my baby without the outside noise.

Did you receive any paid help?

No, I didn’t hire anyone. My family handled everything between them. It was full on for them at times, but it made the whole experience feel more personal and grounded.

How did you go about finding a confinement nanny to support you?

I didn’t end up hiring one, but I did look into agencies and got recommendations from a few friends just in case we needed backup.

Can you share some pros and cons of your home confinement and being cared for by a family member/confinement nanny?

Pros:

- Being in the comfort of my own home made recovery so much easier.

- Having my family around was everything. My husband and mum literally put their lives on hold to care for me and the baby.

- The convenience of having everything I needed close by made confinement less stressful.

- I loved the home cooked postpartum meals my husband prepared; they were made with so much effort and love.

Cons:

- I often felt guilty watching my husband juggle everything. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, and baby care. Even though he kept telling me to just rest, I still found myself trying to help here and there.

- The baby’s crying sometimes disrupted everyone’s rest, especially my husband and mum.

- My tendency to be a bit controlling made it hard to fully let go and rest. I would notice small things around the house and want to fix them.

Tiredness sometimes caused tension or short tempers. I could see how physically drained my mum was, and that weighed on me too.

What food were you fed?

Mostly warming, nourishing foods, herbal soups, ginger chicken, black vinegar pork, broths, and rice. No cold or raw foods, everything freshly cooked and served warm.

Extra Supplements During Confinement:

I continued my prenatal vitamins, vitamin D, fish oil, calcium and placenta pills (got mine made as I wanted to try)

Dietary Rules I Followed:

I avoided cold foods and drinks completely. Focused on protein, warm soups, and plenty of fluids. Everything had to help with circulation and recovery.

Were there any rules/myths that you observed throughout your confinement?

Rules I Followed During Confinement:

- No washing my hair for two weeks.
- Avoided any exposure to wind or cold air.
- Stayed indoors for the full month unless absolutely necessary.
- No lifting or carrying anything heavy.
- No exercise or physical strain of any kind.

Were you surprised by anything from your confinement period?

Not really, I knew what to expect and was actually looking forward to it.

How did you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally?

Physically, I started off drained but noticed steady improvement with rest and the right meals. I lost most of my baby weight, I gained 10kgs in total and I have 2.5kgs left to lose. Mentally and emotionally, I feel great and supported.

Were you well prepared for your postpartum?

Yes, I was. I did a lot of research beforehand and had everything organised from meals and support to recovery essentials. Even though nothing can prepare you 100% for the emotional side, I felt as ready as I could be.

What would you do differently next time / advise another first time mum about postpartum?

Plan for more practice help. Do not try to do everything yourself. Set boundaries early and prioritise rest. And remember, recovery is not something you rush. I will definitely get a postpartum nanny and cleaners.

Did you seek any support from people outside your family?

I gave birth at a Private hospital and they were amazing, I had so many classes and got to talk to a lactation consultant. I will be booking a massage therapist soon after my 1 month is over.

List out any positives and negatives you felt from your confinement period.

Positives:

I really enjoyed the traditional confinement food. Ginger, rice wine vinegar, black vinegar dishes, plenty of vegetables, and red date drinks that truly nourished my body.
Watching my mum bond with my newborn, her first grandchild, was incredibly special.
Having my husband so involved from day one. Learning how to care for our daughter and being present for every moment. This meant a lot to me.

Negatives:

My husband didn’t really get to rest, which made me feel for him
I do feel guilty that my mum had to stay with us to help, I told her no but she insists

How did you feel coming out of confinement?

I felt great, physically stronger, mentally refreshed, and ready to get back to work. The confinement period really helped me recover and reset, so by the end of it, I felt like myself again.

See Instagram post here.